


Not in that way

by theroomofreq



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theroomofreq/pseuds/theroomofreq
Summary: “We are both in love with a friend-” Lily’s voice came out quieter than she had intended. Despite the softness in her words, Remus flinched.
Relationships: Lily Evans & Remus Lupin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 24
Collections: Fem! Jily





	Not in that way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [womeninthesequel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/womeninthesequel/gifts), [midnightelite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightelite/gifts).



> To womeninthesequel, someday I hope fem!jily takes over the world. 
> 
> To midnightelite, this fic would not be possible without you. Thank you for being the best beta and friend.

“Okay, answer me this.” Lily huffed as she slammed herself onto the couch next to Remus. **  
**

He was curled up on the sofa with his knees folded in front of him and a book on his lap. His hands were braced on the book but his eyes were trained elsewhere. Otherwise, Lily wouldn’t have interrupted him, they felt the same way about interruptions during leisure reading. She also knew that it was a horrible idea to try to read in the common room, way too many distractions, so he wasn’t really here to read. 

“Friend to friend, lesbian to bisexual, Gryffindor to Gryffindor. Can I ask you something?” Lily implored, waiting for Remus to pull his eyes away from their friends. He didn’t glance over at her, but he kept his eyes trained over the top of the book. 

“Two more.” He said, his eyes and mind still fixed in the other direction. 

“What?” 

Remus turned to Lily, “Name two more similarities, and I’ll answer your question.” He dropped the words from the corner of his smirk. 

Lily scoffed, trouble maker. She held out two fingers of her left hand, using another finger from her right hand to count out the first similarity, “Wildly attractive.” 

“Practically goes without saying.” Remus shrugged and laughed under his breath at his wit. Lily rolled her eyes and moved her hand to count and list the second similarity. 

“And,” Lily looked across the room to their friends ensuring they weren’t paying attention. Jamie, Sirius, Peter, and Mary were all jeering during a game of exploding snap. She smiled as Jamie jumped up from the table they sat around to celebrate a win. 

It wasn’t abnormal for Lily’s eyes to be drawn to Jamie, the girl was so full of life it was impossible to not be caught up by her. She could be laughing late at night in their dorm, racing down the quidditch pitch, furiously writing notes at the library, or twirling her hair, whatever Jamie did Lily found herself entranced. Today was no different and it was pushing Lily to her wit’s end. 

“We are both in love with a friend-” Lily’s voice came out quieter than she had intended. Despite the softness in her words, Remus flinched. 

All the humor rushed out of his eyes as he looked to Sirius, who was tossing Bertie Botts beans into Jamie’s mouth. “That’s too close to home.” Remus’s face turned guarded and there was a dark tone in his voice that she rarely heard. 

She should have stopped. She shouldn’t have explained more, she knew that he understood, it’s why she came to talk to him after all. His tone should have held her back, it was a warning but Lily ignored it. Jamie was on her mind, it made her foggy and confused, and the words slipped out before she could think clearly about them. 

“A friend that doesn’t-” 

Remus stood up abruptly and pointed a finger at Lily. The book that was on his lap clattered to the ground. “Too close.” His voice was hoarse. Lily jumped at the way he snapped, her eyes focusing on the accusing finger. 

Remus shook his head like he was trying to shake Lily’s words out of his mind. The guarded appearance slid down his face and a hurt expression came across his features. Slowly, his finger moved into a tight fist and fell to his side. Remus met her gaze with a tremble, his eyes shimmered with something Lily couldn’t read. It was a step too far, she could see it in how rigid he was, how he took a step back from her. 

Despite his withdrawal, she knew what he needed, it was written on his face. Lily leaned forward off the couch and wrapped her hand around Remus’ wrist, she held his eye contact until his fist unclenched and his eyes went misty. The moment his hand relaxed she twisted her fingers in his and pulled him back down next to her. Lily quickly threw her arms around his shoulders, “I’m sorry,” Her voice was barely a whisper. 

He was tense under her embrace, and she knew why, the way Remus looked at Sirius was the same way she wished Jamie would look at her. Lily knew that and she was sure that Remus knew that, but neither had ever broached the subject. This was the first time she’d tried to talk about it and it was too much, their pain was too similar, and they didn’t need to say a thing to know that. The thought made her heartache, she tightened her grip on Remus and she felt his shoulders loosen. His hands came up and wrapped around her back as he released a deep breath. 

Lily counted to ten in her head and then pulled back. His face was soft and its kindness had returned with a smile. Lily felt relief flood through her, “Remus, I shouldn’t have,” She shook her head, “Sorry, I just can’t handle it anymore.” 

“I know, Lils,” Remus squeezed her shoulder, “I know. It’s okay.”

Lily mirrored his smile, it was small but it was an understanding. She couldn’t be sure but, she knew that his hurt was probably reflected in her face. They had always been close, Remus and Lily, but she felt a little closer to him now. Maybe their mutual suffering had something to do with that, it was like a bonding agent to their friendship. 

Remus’ smile widened as a whooping noise sounded behind her, “We picked some real dorks, you know.” Lily turned around to look at her friends as Remus gestured their way. 

Across the room, Sirius was standing on a chair and Jamie was two arm lengths away from him, Peter was conjuring small silver rings while Mary helped to levitate them between the two best friends. The group laughed as Sirius tossed the candy beans into the air attempting to dodge the obstacle rings and Jamie did her best to catch them in her mouth. They were failing miserably, while Peter and Mary were in stitches collecting the discarded candy. 

Jamie jumped high in her latest attempt but instead, she fell hard on her rear. Remus glanced down at Lily, “Was the question about her?” 

Lily nodded because it was, and Remus saw right through her. He looped his arm around her and tugged her close to his body, Lily gratefully pressed her face closer to his chest. 

A yell erupted from Sirius as Jamie caught one of the beans, he jumped off the chair and pulled Jamie into a hug. He spun her around as Jamie yelled out, “Evans, Moony!! Did you see that??”

Sirius put Jamie down, and they both ran over to where Remus and Lily sat. Jamie hastily began to recreate her miracle catch, with more flare than how it actually occurred. Her arms pinwheeled as she imitated the Bertie Botts bean flying to her mouth, she dove to the ground modeling an action that definitely didn’t happen. 

Lily looked up to Remus with a sad smile, “Can you really blame me?” 

Remus shook his head as Sirius clamored up another chair, “Nah, I can’t.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave your thoughts (:


End file.
